#1 April 5th, 2005 05:37 AM

Prazak

Member

Liandra on female orgasm

In her latest post, Liandra talks about some women not having orgasm by not putting aside distractions. This may be true, of course. But it's struck me that some women haven't reached the necessary physical maturity. They become aroused, but don't reach orgasm. One young lady in Prague, not a bastian of inhibition, told me that it took her a long time (meaning a number of lovers) before she "got anything out of it." At the time she was in her early 20s. I gathered that she had experimented widely, trying to understand what her girlfriends were raving about. A rough analogy would be the age at which infants are able to achieve bladder control. Even aside from pathological cases, there are those who take quite a bit longer to toilet train. It seems clear that some individuals are multi-orgasmic and have extraordinary sexual capacities, sometimes from a quite early age. The other side of the coin must also exist: The individual who never reaches orgasm until much later in life. Then there is the rest of us between the extremes.

Belgareth

Member

Re: Liandra on female orgasm

In her latest post, Liandra talks about some women not having orgasm by not putting aside distractions. This may be true, of course. But it's struck me that some women haven't reached the necessary physical maturity. They become aroused, but don't reach orgasm. One young lady in Prague, not a bastian of inhibition, told me that it took her a long time (meaning a number of lovers) before she "got anything out of it." At the time she was in her early 20s. I gathered that she had experimented widely, trying to understand what her girlfriends were raving about. A rough analogy would be the age at which infants are able to achieve bladder control. Even aside from pathological cases, there are those who take quite a bit longer to toilet train. It seems clear that some individuals are multi-orgasmic and have extraordinary sexual capacities, sometimes from a quite early age. The other side of the coin must also exist: The individual who never reaches orgasm until much later in life. Then there is the rest of us between the extremes.

From my own experiences, I have found that people who are comfortable with their own bodies, who take the time to explore themselves, who learn what they like and do not like, are most likely to be able to control the sexual environment they find themselves in. This does not infer that a female will always reach an orgasm but, from what I have witnessed, it certainly seems to increase their chances. I have never considered myself to be a "great lover" or anything even approaching it. I am just aware of what a partner takes pleasure from and what doesn't please. There is on golden rule in my book and that is that I get pleasure from giving pleasure, or put another way - focus on who you are with and not on yourself.

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zimbonies

Member

Re: Liandra on female orgasm

From my own experiences, I have found that people who are comfortable with their own bodies, who take the time to explore themselves, who learn what they like and do not like, are most likely to be able to control the sexual environment they find themselves in. This does not infer that a female will always reach an orgasm but, from what I have witnessed, it certainly seems to increase their chances. I have never considered myself to be a "great lover" or anything even approaching it. I am just aware of what a partner takes pleasure from and what doesn't please. There is on golden rule in my book and that is that I get pleasure from giving pleasure, or put another way - focus on who you are with and not on yourself.

I completely agree.  I dated a woman who was deathly afraid of me seeing her naked.  She was embarrassed of her body even though I found her quite attractive (and told her how attractive she was to me).  We never had sex with the lights on or during the daylight hours and she never reached orgasm unless orally -- which was quite a chore for me (not that I'm the master, but I think I know how to treat a woman!).  She also told me that she had never masturbated (quote "God made men for that" meaning that she would not make herself cum -- it was the responsibility of men.) and had no intentions of ever doing so.  I gave her books, pamphlets and discussed with her the importance of knowing your own body before enjoying it, but she refused.  She was also embarrassed discussing sex.  Needless to say, even though she was a great woman, the relationship did not last since I am a very open, sexually active person.
Lastly, I too get pleasure from giving pleasure and would rather my partner 'get off' than me.

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"Look at da Chort?!  He's gone mad wit power!"

liandra_dahl

Member

Re: Liandra on female orgasm

I completely agree.  I dated a woman who was deathly afraid of me seeing her naked.  She was embarrassed of her body even though I found her quite attractive (and told her how attractive she was to me).  We never had sex with the lights on or during the daylight hours and she never reached orgasm unless orally -- which was quite a chore for me (not that I'm the master, but I think I know how to treat a woman!).  She also told me that she had never masturbated (quote "God made men for that" meaning that she would not make herself cum -- it was the responsibility of men.) and had no intentions of ever doing so.  I gave her books, pamphlets and discussed with her the importance of knowing your own body before enjoying it, but she refused.  She was also embarrassed discussing sex.  Needless to say, even though she was a great woman, the relationship did not last since I am a very open, sexually active person.
Lastly, I too get pleasure from giving pleasure and would rather my partner 'get off' than me.

I have two female friends who refuse to "touch themselves down there" both of them have trouble acheiving orgasms with men as well. there is definitely a link. Quite frankly they think it's gross to do it but they also refuse to let men stimulate them orally because they don't want to be smelt or looked at that close up. They don't know what they're missing! All these inhibitions leave their sex life, comparably to what I experience, cold and purfunctory as far as I can tell. The good news is that I am a fervent converter and convinced one of my former non-masturbating friends to give it a go some years back and she is now the hostess for her local Anne summers Party (an english sex toys/ aides organisation). She likes vibrators because she still doesn't like getting her hands dirty, but then they are so damned efficient, those little buzzing buddies of ours! The other two girls have so far prooved harder to crack but me and my girls are slowly wearing them down!

zimbonies

Member

Re: Liandra on female orgasm

I have two female friends who refuse to "touch themselves down there" both of them have trouble acheiving orgasms with men as well. there is definitely a link. Quite frankly they think it's gross to do it but they also refuse to let men stimulate them orally because they don't want to be smelt or looked at that close up. They don't know what they're missing! All these inhibitions leave their sex life, comparably to what I experience, cold and purfunctory as far as I can tell. The good news is that I am a fervent converter and convinced one of my former non-masturbating friends to give it a go some years back and she is now the hostess for her local Anne summers Party (an english sex toys/ aides organisation). She likes vibrators because she still doesn't like getting her hands dirty, but then they are so damned efficient, those little buzzing buddies of ours! The other two girls have so far prooved harder to crack but me and my girls are slowly wearing them down!

Good job Liandra!  The world needs more orgasms!  I for one, am a fond believer in them -- they can remedy even the worst ailments!

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"Look at da Chort?!  He's gone mad wit power!"

nagaloo

Member

Re: Liandra on female orgasm

There are a number of things that can make people feel this way. And is it all from being taught  that self pleasuring is bad or are some just naturally that way? I some how doubt if it is a natural thing. I know the church I went to when I was a younger man taught a lot of prejudice toward a lot of things and people. Guilt = Control = Power. I spent a long time feeling guilty but it didnt stop me LOL. And today I take full pleasure from it. And this site and some of the comments like Liandra and others have made help confirm how I feel about it today.
Stew

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The universe is unfolding as it should, and so are the girls on ISM. I love them all.